Not Gay Enough?
Very occasionally, I do a little search on Google, for news stories involving bisexuality. Sometimes it’s just to see if anyone else has come out as bisexual, and therefore giving our community a little media boost saying “Yes, we do actually exist, we’re not just undecided”, but usually just to have a look at how we’re being told we don’t exist.
By this point, you may have guessed that I am quite openly (and after this post, even moreso) bisexual.
My search for bisexuality in the news wasn’t a fruitless one. A fair few articles came up, but one that really caught my eye was "Not gay enough ballplayers get the shaft" (nice shaft pun, by the way). Now, I’ll let you read the article yourself, if you want, but the long and short of it is that is that three bisexual men, who have been members of the San Francisco Gay Softball League for quite some time… until 2008, when they were forced out of the league for not being gay enough.
How gay is gay enough? How straight is too straight? And why does the players position on the Kinsey Scale matter?
If a sports organisation is willing to take on bisexual (and up to two straight) players to compete, why does it matter how straight they are? Bisexuality, unlike heterosexuality and homosexuality isn’t as black and white (although, there’s still grey areas in heterosexuality and homosexuality, for example, people who would consider themselves 1 or 5, they may consider themselves straight or gay, respectively). I am probably a 3, bang in the middle, but then I have known people who are more attracted to one gender than another.
I guess what I really want to highlight within this post, is the biphobia that bisexual people have to endure from within the LGBT “community” (some aren’t too keen on the T being part of the community, either). For example, I’ve been turned down by gay people for being a “breeder”. I don’t think there’s enough people talking about discrimination in the LGBT community, and I hope this post gets people thinking about it.
The last thing on my mind, is that if I wanted to join their league, would they rather I swung towards homosexuality, rather than bang in the middle of the road, which is where I feel like I belong?
Thankfully for them, I’m crap at sports, and was always last pick at school, so they don’t have to worry about me joining their ranks, and confusing them with my ways.
Made In Chelsea’s Ollie Reveals Bisexual Dilemma
'Made In Chelsea's Ollie Locke says coming out as bisexual was the “hardest thing” he's ever had to do.'
I’ll be the first to admit, I have no idea what an Ollie Locke is, or what it does. Apparently he’s in a programme which puts real (albeit those with eccentricities) people into situations which are planned… or something?
Anyway, I guess it’s a good thing to have an out bisexual guy in the public eye. Admittedly he’s not so much in the public eye as say, people like Jessie J, or Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong.
The cynic in me can’t help but think this is going to be the first and last thing we hear about his bisexuality, and he’s only mentioning it now to improve his public profile, and that may very well be the case, if the comments on the page are to be believed (which they rarely are, but in this case, I wouldn’t be surprised)
'Ollie has been OUT for a long time and it is only for ratings that he's 'come out' again…….the show is a complete fake through and through!'
Still, if some vacuous fame hunting wannabe celebrity coming out as bi inspires anyone else to accept who they are and possibly come out, be it bi, gay or lesbian, then I guess it’s not all bad… maybe I am just a tad cynical when it comes to the lives of celebrities, and how they tell people they’re bi or gay or lesbian at a time when it will bring them the most news stories…
Anonymous asked: Hi, my friend and I are making a blog to educate our high schools and talk about a variety of LGBT issues such as inner-lgbt discrimination and ignorant misconceptions like that gays try and "convert" people. As the bisexual writer for it it is so important to me to raise awareness about bisexuals and the discrimination they have to go through. i would love to link my blog to your tumblr and vice versa, if possible :) the upcoming post is about bisexual erasure and i hope you'll answer so i can post this site on it. you can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Feel free, aye :)
Glee: Kurt on Bisexuality
Firstly I’d like to apologise for this not being a very frequent posting Tumblr. It was never meant to be one that posts and posts, and sometimes I feel it may get buried in the neverending reblogs of .gifs from Glee and Eclipse. However this evening I’m going to talk about Glee.
This evening in the UK, E4 showed the “Blame It On The Alcohol" episode of Glee, where the major plot is around Alcohol Awareness Week at the school. In the episode Rachel hosts a party, and during a game of spin the bottle, shares a lingering kiss with Blaine.
Later on Rachel phones Blaine and asks him out on a date, he accepts, and Kurt cannot understand why he said yes, as he’s gay. Blaine replies that he’s never had a boyfriend, and maybe he is bisexual, at which Kurt responds:
"Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change.
However in keeping this can be for Kurt’s personality traits, who can come across as the type to say snide comments like that. Later on in the episode when Rachel kisses Blaine whilst sober, he realises he’s bisexual. Which just cements the idea that bisexuality is not real. This is dangerous, as young bisexual kids may become quite upset, thinking they have to be gay or straight.
I’m annoyed that Glee allowed the issue of bisexuality to just be a plot device for Rachel to have something to write about. They’ve taken bisexuality, and unlike where they’ve been quite delicate with sensitive issues, such as homosexuality, and mental unstableness (even if the fake pregnancy did get a bit ridiculous towards the end), bisexuality is not treated with the same sort of respect.
After watching the episode, I came across this article on TV review and discussion website, BuddyTV. In which the reviewer says:
But more importantly, I learned that Kurt and I have something in common: we both think male bisexuality is a myth. Blaine’s very brief experimentation with kissing girls prompted Kurt to defensively respond that “Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change.” And I completely agree.
Really? Really, John Kubicek? You think that as a gay man, you know how every guys mind works, be they straight, gay, or in your opinion, think they’re bisexual?
It’s also interesting to note that you use the term “male bisexuality”. So it’s ok for women to be bisexual, because you can’t possibly have a concept of what that must be like, because you’re a guy, but it’s easy for you to know how every guy out there feels.
Well here’s a newsflash for you John Kubicek, I’m a happy, proud, bisexual male. I’ve had girlfriends, and I’ve had boyfriends. I may not be 50/50 split down the middle, and I may well have my preferences, but I can assure you, just as certain as I am that the sun will rise in the morning, that I am bisexual.
I can assure you, that just as certain as I am that when two hydrogen atoms go through nuclear fusion, that I am a male bisexual.
I can assure you, that just as certain as I am that Simon Cowell will keep pumping dreadful fucking music into the charts, that I am a male bisexual.
And I am not alone.
Please feel free to leave a response telling me how you felt about this episode?
So, sometimes I find it really hard to find information about bisexuality, and links to bisexual websites and resources through Google. Trust me, I’ve tried, and then today, I fall upon a treasure trove of brilliant links, whilst googling the chords for Tom Robinson’s brilliant song, Glad To Be Gay (written back when gay was an all-encompassing word for the LGBT community, similar to how “queer” is used now).
I’d always assumed Tom Robinson to be gay, but when googling the chords, I came across a website dedicated to the song, where I found out that Tom is actually bisexual, and on his website, he has a whole sub-site dedicated to bisexuality.
I’ve provided the link to the links part of the site, but another highlight for me was the photograph of Tom with a ukulele, which is the instrument I play. So, yeah, bisexual ukulelists, wooh!!
Anyways, through clicking around websites from BothWays.com, I found out about BiCon, an annual convention for Bisexuals in Britain (and also anyone from any other country who wants to travel to it, and also friends, partners and supporters of the bisexual community)
This years BiCon is in Leicester, between the 1st and 4th September, 2011 (which incidentally my 24th birthday falls within that, on the 3rd, so if you come, feel free to bring me presents).
I’m definitely considering going, and if so, possibly hosting a bi musicians session over the course of the weekend.
So does anybody think they will be going?
I wouldn’t change being bi for anything safer -
A little straighter or a little gayer.
I am who I am, I’m me, that’s it
Wouldn’t change me, even a little bit.
It be so frustrating to be bi at times - some people insist you’re straight, others think you’re just afraid to be gay. But I’m proud of my sexuality and wouldn’t change it for any other given the chance.
toceaseuponthemidnight asked: Regarding "Where are all the bisexual guys?" I replied in ask form because my reply was too long to fit. I'm a guy, btw; my tumblr doesn't really make that clear, and I wanted to let you know.
I think the proportion of openly bisexual guys online is pretty indicative of the proportion of openly bisexual guys in the real world. In my experience, women that identify as bisexual are seen as "straight, but experimenting." They're going to find their way back to a cock sooner or later. While that is certainly a disrespectful (and often hurtful) assumption, it isn't the same as when a guy is openly bisexual. In that case, we're seen as just being halfway out of the closet. If we say we're bisexual, to many people, we might as well say we're gay.
Just think about it like this: If a woman in a hetero relationship comes out as bi, what is her guy's response going to be? There's a very high probability that he's just going to be stoked about his chances for a threesome. If the roles are reversed, what then? Chances are better that the woman is going to be afraid her man is "turning gay."
I can only assume that our male-dominated society has everyone convinced that once you've tried cock, you can't resist it. It's the greatest fucking thing to come along since testicles. So any straight girl that tries to go on a pussy-only diet will surely falter, but any guy who tastes the knob will invariably lose interest in vagina.
Fucking ignorance. I'm sorry, but it drives me crazy. And it prevents many, many, MANY guys from being honest with themselves and with their friends and family, for fear of being misunderstood.
downwithzippers-deactivated2012 asked: I've just found your tumblr, and find it supportvitive. (supportive & informative). I was wondering if I could become one of your regular writers? I can submit samples of my writing if you wish! :) x
I am a bisexual female majoring in english, and had to have polar sexualities explained to me when I was nine. :D
Much love (twice as much, in fact).
Thank you very much for the kind words, and I would be more than happy for you to become one of the writers for this tumblr!
Submitted by http://gravastars.tumblr.com/
Bisexuality is not real. I cannot now decide whether to put quotation marks around the preceding sentence.
And there we have it. The two prejudices that I face daily, and the two that have now driven me to right here, to right now – to writing this article. The attitudes in question are as anyone can guess, that we presume bisexuality is not as ‘real’ as monosexuality, and that the bisexual writer struggles not with external doubts from antagonizing forces, but his own conflicting identity – the inner homo-mono-sexual monster breaking forth from the bisexual facade.
The truth is, the latter sentence I intended to mean, “I probably should keep the former sentence unquoted, to invoke a more shocked response from my bisexual readership.” But I realised that others would read it differently. It became the hook. I realised then that the reader would identify me as bisexual, and would associate my worry about quotation marks with a broader confusion about my sexual identity.
On that issue – the common prejudice that I face (that I am confused), this article will oppose on no uncertain terms. First, I want to discuss further however, that encoding and decoding of meaning between people who are bisexual and people who are not. Because it is a difficult topic to discuss, so the only way I can hope to accurately portray its true nature, so to speak, is by discussing them using this broader metatextual analogy I have constructed for you. I apologize if I’ve lost you already.
The problem we all face – and we’re facing it right now, is one I can sum up using the fantastic expression, which I paraphrase: the bisexual is not confused, but the other party is.
And if you aren’t bisexual, then it will be confusing – or, already is. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. Stay with me – please.
So, staying with that metatextuality, you can tell already that I have no idea where this is going, can’t you? That my argument, to you, appears fumbling, andappears confused, and lost – I’m not even discussing what I think bisexuality is yet! What you’re not seeing is that I’ve already set up the general tone I wanted. And you’re still reading. I wanted you to embrace your own confusion, and accept now that I am in full control, and you have to now trust that I know what I am doing– that I know where I stand. This is the true nature of metatextual writing, and this the true nature of bisexuality.
So what is bisexuality? Stop it with this bullshit!
To understand bisexuality, keep thinking on those terms. That what I think of bisexuality, as a bisexual, is very different to what you think of bisexuality. In much the same way, as I’ve said, the writer will always approach his work differently to the reader. We’re doing different things, and interpreting what I’ve said in different ways. We’re different beasts, but in this article, we have to come to an agreement, don’t we?
First I will convince you that labels such as bisexual, heterosexual and homosexual are in fact generalized terms which do not adequately describe what sexuality as a spectrum actually is. And I’m not talking about the Kinsey scale because that too, is loaded with conjectured bullshit that I can’t be bothered to discuss. So here’s the Aaron scale:
Y = Gender
X = Orientation
Upon this scale we measure between two points in order to define sexuality; our self-determined gender, and our orientation. Together they form an overall identity which conflates the two, that I will call (for convenience’s sake) the sexuality.
For reference, I have marked myself on the chart. This is my bisexuality and as such, does not represent anyone but myself. Other bisexuals may represent a broader oval, or a more looser distinction between their masculinity and femininity. Others may stretch across the entire spectrum and would be therefore more likely to identify as pansexual.
Where are the bisexual guys?
So I’m looking through the followers for this Tumblr page, and it’s great that so many of you are following this, and it gives me the warm fuzzies inside that some of the posts are getting liked and/or reblogged. Especially since the posts here aren’t just a cute picture of a squirrel with a caption, or a .gif from Ugly Betty.
We have 35 followers here, and as I count through you all, three of you are guys.
Oh, and one of those guys is me, from my personal account!
I’m not saying that I’m not happy with having you all following, but it just makes me think. Why are there so few guys on the internet who will admit to being bisexual? Perhaps all of the bisexual guys on the internet are following this blog, all three of us. I’m pretty sure that’s not it, though. Perhaps bisexual guys don’t want to be open on the internet, or maybe they just don’t like tumblr? Is it that there are more bisexual girls in total?
So tell me, dearest followers, where are the bisexual guys?
thundah-nips asked: So i decided to come out and let everyone know I'm bisexual but can you give me advice on dating or finding playmates :)
The purpose of this blog isn’t so much about finding playmates or dating advice. However, I would suggest that you keep your ear to the ground for any LGBT(Q) events, not clubs as such, but more social events.
You may meet someone nice